Paul is quite often hard to understand. He often has long sentences that you have to read over and again to see what he is saying. Sometimes he forgets about punctuation with really really long sentences. Sometimes he seems to contradict himself or asks rhetorical questions and you don’t know what the answer is that he is looking for. But today, there is no ambiguity and it is a problem we can all relate to. And the fact that it is St Paul – the chosen one of God to take the Gospel to the Gentiles – the one whom Jesus revealed himself to from Heaven – it really adds so much comfort to us who struggle with sin and worth before God. He is not speaking as a theologian but as a fellow human being. A fellow sinner.
In a nutshell – Paul knows the good that he should do but doesn’t do it. Paul knows the evil he should not do but keeps on doing it. And Paul is quite honest about it. He says “I do not understand my own actions.” Perhaps that is your challenge.
You know something is wrong. You know it’s a sin – But you do it anyway. And we’re not talking about something minor.
No, Paul says “I do the very thing I hate”. He, like us, blames everyone but himself. It is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. It’s akin to saying – well God made me this way so how can God then judge me for what I am doing. But that thinking doesn’t free Paul but traps him further as he tries to justify why he is doing things he hates and knows that God would also hate. He says: I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my body another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. And it is this thinking that just eats away at him like it did with King David when he tried to cover up his sin.
In Psalm 32 he wrote: When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. David realised he couldn’t fool God by having Uriah killed then marrying his widow so the child conceived in adultery would not longer be an issue. No, like Paul he groaned and both come to the same conclusion. For David – Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin. For Paul – Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
And Jesus extends that same invitation to you today when he says: “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Notice this was not a physical rest Jesus was offering but a spiritual rest. And that’s where Paul finds his spiritual rest: Notice what he does not say: He does not say, “I’ll try harder.” He does not say, “I’ll fix myself.” He does not say, “Give me one more chance.” He asks a question: Who will rescue me? Not what will rescue me.
Not which technique will rescue me. Not which self-help strategy will rescue me. Who will rescue me. Because the answer is not a method. The answer is a Person. Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
And that is where our help comes from. And that’s part of our liturgy in the confession of sins – quoting King David: Our help is in the name of the Lord – he made heaven and earth. I said, I will confess my sins to the Lord; then he forgave the guilt of my sin. It is a natural response to self help – just like Adam and Eve did: After eating the forbidden fruit the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
Although Paul sees the harm that sin does to us, he sees the greater harm that denial and coverup does. King David said he groaned and his bones wasted away. Paul called himself a wretched man with a body of death. But both found comfort not in proving themselves right but acknowledging their plight before God who, through Jesus Christ gave them rest for their souls. And that’s why in Psalm 32 it says – Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. Not, blessed is the one who keeps God’s law perfectly. Not, blessed is the one who doesn’t sin. Blessed are those who are forgiven.
Jesus himself saw the hypocrisy of those who tried to claim right living towards God being where blessings are found: Jesus said: John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!
Like Paul – we do not do the good we want, but the evil we do not want is what we do. Admitting when we have done wrong is not easy. We defend ourselves. We deny we’ve done wrong. We justify why we did it. But that does not lead us to finding comfort and relief just as Paul and David discovered. It’s when we see ourselves with a loving and compassionate heavenly Father who wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around us and comfort us. Just as Jesus discovered when he wept over the state of his own people. “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.
Likewise Jesus wants to rap his arms around you and let you cast all your worries and burdens on him to give you rest for your souls.
